The Rules of Pull-Throughs
To the uninitiated, the term "pull-through" may not mean much. But it is a term ripe with meaning. Sometimes it masquerades as "pull-thru" or "pll-thrgh", but the latter is only prevalent among people who hate vowels, and presumably they will have stopped reading after the second character of this article.
"Pull-Through", or "Pull-Thru"; noun:
An empty parking space, which has an empty parking space directly in front of it, so that instead of stopping in the parking space one has chosen, one feels compelled to pull forward into the next parking space, thus completing the pull-through.
A pull-through serves the useful function of allowing the driver to entirely avoid backing in or out of a parking space.
A couple of terms need to be defined in relation to the Pull-Through:
- The Initiator: the first parking spot one pulls into, directly attached to another empty spot.
- The Closer: the final parking spot of the pull-through, directly in front of the Initiator.
- Taking The Pull-Through: going through with the action, moving all the way from the Initiator to the Closer before stopping.
- Pull-Through Interruptus: when someone pulls into the Initiator, but refuses to pull forward into the Closer, thus avoiding Taking The Pull-Through, and ruining the Pull-Through for everyone.
Unbeknownst to the average driver, there are a complex series of rules that govern the manner in which pull-throughs may be treated. These rules are similar in nature to the rules for "Calling Shotgun", having accumulated over time, developing in native societies for ages before modern civilization discovered them.
Pull-Through Rule #1: IF A DRIVER PULLS INTO A PARKING SPACE WHICH IS AN INITIATOR, SAID DRIVER MUST TAKE THE PULL-THROUGH. IT IS A CARDINAL OFFENSE TO STOP SHORT OF THE FULL PULL-THROUGH!
"Are there any exceptions?" an insightful reader may ask. Well yes, there are. But we are not considering exceptions, we are considering rules. So let's consider some commonly-given excuses that are not exceptions.
1. "Pulling through takes me farther away from the door!" Suck it up, fella. The pull-through is its own reason and justification. You must pull-through because it is a pull-through. That's just common sense. It doesn't get any more logical than that.
2. "If everyone did a pull-through, there would be no pull-throughs left".
That's just not using simple reasoning. Think about it: if everyone completed the pull-through when given the chance, they would tend to leave their parking space more quickly once done, thus freeing up more parking that could potentially become a pull-through.
3. "But this Pull-Through leaves me going the wrong way in a one-way lane!" Someone should have thought of that before creating the Pull-Through. It is not your fault that the Pull-Through is facing the wrong direction. You still must Take The Pull-Through.
To be continued...