Archive for September, 2007

Kings among Stars

Monday, September 24th, 2007

This weekend, I was in Iowa City, Iowa for a conference in which hundreds of college students from tons of colleges gather to find entertainment to bring to their campuses. For the entire weekend, performers of all kinds would showcase their talents in the hope of being chosen. A select few (such as myself) would be allowed to play a concert in front of these students.

One conversation I had stuck with me. “We all lead other lives,” a hypnotist told me, “we’re all just trying to stay in this one as long as possible”. By day, she was a therapist. By night, a hypnotic stage performer and magnificent entertainer.

When she said that, I looked around me, and what I saw reminded me of a line from the movie “Almost Famous”:

“This is the circus, everybody’s trying not to go home.”

She was right. Everyone did lead other lives. That weekend, I saw magicians who mystified and comedians who owned the stage; and as long as they’re there, they have the magic. But then they go home to their mother’s basement, and normal life.

It’s the same way for the college students who are there to book these acts. For that weekend only, rock stars and television celebrities would cater to these kids like no one else. At no other time in these kids lives will they feel so close to stardom.

On Monday, they’re back to dorm life and ramen noodles.

But for the weekend, they are kings in a world of entertainers.

Climbing Mount Walmart

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007


Yesterday, my tires desperately needed patching from whatever it was I had put them through, so I took a trip to my local Walmart. Getting tires patched is usually a 5-10-15 minute job or so, so I didn’t anticipate much trouble or wait.

However, it turned out that the wait was actually over 2 hours. Rather than spend that time shopping, I decided to walk. So, with a lunch bag (read, plastic Walmart bag) tied to my belt, I headed out, scouting out local shops and stores, climbing up and down some strange land formations, jumping fences, and the like.

I realized a profound thing: our world is no longer made for people. It’s made for cars.

And this led me to decide to venture behind Walmart itself. Now, venturing behind any big store always feels a little bit like trespassing to me, so I was cautious. But when I got behind Walmart, I discovered a giant man-made “mountain”. This mountain was designed, I decided, to segregate the nice neighborhoods from the sounds of Walmart.

So I decided to scale it. Admittedly, it’s not much of a mountain, only about twice as tall as Walmart. And in the photos, it doesn’t look too steep. But it is covered with tall, dense vegetation that makes it hard to walk, and makes you feel like little crawly things are latching onto your skin with every step. And it is harder to walk up than it looks.

Once on top, I got an unique view of both the miles and miles of retail and road, and the interesting society of Walmart. As soon as I got to the top, I heard sirens wailing, and a big fire truck pulled up behind Walmart. Firemen poured out and into the rear of the building, leaving the truck itself deserted.

After watching this scene for a while and moving around the park-like environment on top of this mountain, I decided to come back down by a different way, and walked back through the parking lot.

That was when I got a call telling me that Walmart hadn’t even been able to get the wheels off of my car.