Archive for August, 2007

Detaining a Criminal – the Life of Micah

Thursday, August 30th, 2007

In my bio, I refer to a time when I detained a criminal while waiting for the police to arrive. I was recently asked for details about this incident, so I thought I would convey the story. A warning: I didn’t use any physical violence to detain this criminal, so none of my celebrated hand-to-hand combat skills are described here.

The STORY about The CRIMINAL…

I was working at Motel 6 in Everett, WA during a Summer break. My boss lived in the Motel, and would watch me on camera from time to time without me knowing.

So I was checking in this one lady, when I received a phone call. I picked it up, and it was from my manager.

“Don’t let her go!” she exclaimed. “The police are on their way, and they need you to detain her so she can’t get into a room. They’ve asked for our help in capturing her.”

“Ok,” I answered, and mimicked having a full conversation with a customer before hanging up the phone. It didn’t occur to me that everyone was wanting me to be the one staying in danger.

So I took my time checking her in, and when she had a request for something to be changed, I told her I wasn’t sure if I could do that. I took my time fumbling around and acting incompetent.

When I finally finished with her, I gave her the keys to get in her room. She walked out the door and into the hands of the just-arriving police force.

Since I am a nice guy, I gave her a refund on her rooms before they took her away.

….

Later on, a bank robber hid out in our motel and the police surrounded us, but that’s another story.

-micah

The Land of Canadia

Thursday, August 30th, 2007

Just got back from my travels in Canadia. There are a lot of things that are great about that wonderful land, including the metric system, degrees in Celcius, bilingual everything, Tim Horton’s, the Maple Leaf flag (which looks cooler than ours, I have to say), the name of the country (“Dominion of Canada” sounds a lot cooler than “US of A”, you gotta admit), and so on. In addition, they can call themselves “Americans” just fine, which puts us USA-ians in the position of finding a new name for ourselves. If you’re from the US, they say you’re from “the States”; so maybe we ought to start saying they’re from “the Provinces”. Then, we could be “States-ians”, and they could be “Provincials”…which, while giving us a dumb name, at least gives them an insulting one.

Canadians really like combos. You know, we get a Biggie Combo, or something like that, which basically involves a sandwich, a drink, and some fries. But when we went to order pizza in Canada, the combo was Pizza, Fries, a Pop, and a Candybar. When we went to order a salad, it came with soda. When you try to buy furniture, it comes with a free TV. Canadians really like the idea of combos.

There are some bad things about Canadia, however. When we tried to cross the border, we discovered that pepper-spray is illegal in Canada. It’s a bad as carrying a gun. We discovered this because we had to have our car searched, and travel across the border 3 times, being harassed at each step, because we dared to accidentally bring pepper-spray onto international land. When I was coming back into the US to try to find a trash can where I could dispose of this illegal substance without coming to bodily harm, the US Customs official sharply reprimanded me, then asked to see the offending substance. As I lifted it up to show him, he barked, “Put it down! Put it down!” as if I were waving a loaded gun in his face.

Anyway, we disposed of this illegal pepper-spray somewhere in Detroit’s 8-Mile.

It was only later that I discovered the truth. While it is completely ILLEGAL to carry around pepper-spray intended for use on humans, if that same pepper-spray had a label that said “BEAR SPRAY” on the front, it becomes completely LEGAL to carry and possess. And if you happen to be accosted by a human criminal, you are free to use “BEAR SPRAY” on him.

So you can bet that next time I go to Canadia, I am carrying a big bottle of BEAR SPRAY.

4 MONTHS of Songs of The Week!

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

If you haven’t noticed yet, we’ve just completed FOUR MONTHS of writing, recording, and releasing one new song every week – every Saturday at midnight. In doing so, we’ve had a lot of variety, from sappy songs to 90s-esque to the downright weird. The last one was in fact, a Haiku song, which seems to be a variety of poetry I’ve invented myself.

I just found out that this weekend we will be on the radio in the heart of Jersey. Next weekend, who knows?

-micah